Boat Tragedy: How safe is that fun?

(http://www.deccanchronicle.com/130127/news-current-affairs/article/land-water-tragedies-too)

Reports on Accidents happen often in our daily newspaper. When we read it, all that we feel is "Oh! That's sad!". Some of us get deeper and write a reply by suggesting solutions and measures to prevent future accidents of same manner. Appreciated!

However, the real  pain can be explained only by the victim and the family of the victim. They also experience the brunt of any consequence of the accident, as well as the reactions of the authorities.

The recent Boat tragedy in Alappuzha River, that killed four people, was a sickening incident. The immeasurable pain that the family members of the victim would have undergone and still do, is mind-troubling. All those who died, had the right to live. However, death has its own time of visit. It is the only uninvited and disliked visitor that will definitely visit everyone suddenly in our life, that too Just Once. May the soul of those who died rest in peace.

Life is bestowed in us still. Not that we are better off than those who died. Its just that, God has given us one more chance to live well. Let's all take on oath to live a life that will be safe for us as well as others around us. Had the Boatmen and all those in-charge on that fateful "moment" been more careful and responsible by burrying all the wishes of getting people on boat in a "hurry", then those four precious lives might have been saved.

This boat tragedy  does not make the entire boating stream dangerous. Nor will it halt the entire boating business. The business will move on. People will continue to see "fun" in this business. However, let us just learn to get alert! Even when there is a boatman who has to take care of the entire procedure of getting into the boat and getting off it, If every tourist and passenger of the boat is alert and serious enough, then lot of accidents can be prevented. Even if the boatman asks you to jump into the boat when there is already someone standing in the path, its easy to say a "no! Let him go first!" When the boatman asks everyone to get in and you see that the boat is getting full only in one side and you feel the risk of the boat getting tilted, then it is more simple to say "Let us all wait till the people already inside the boat settle down in a balanced way" and thus contribute towards arranging the boating experience in a safe and fun way. 

Just remember that there is no point in being the "first" to get into the boat. You have decided that "i will go boating today". So, anyways you will go boating today. Why hurry? Just wait patiently to experience a safe and enjoyable boating experience. :)

Let us do "our" part in avoiding accidents...

Lets become responsible at least when other's lives are at stake. Let's get sincere and serious when other's lives are bestowed in ours...

 Live and let live! 

ALSO READ:-  (http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/chennai/bodies-of-alappuzha-boat-tragedy-victims-brought-back/article4351251.ece)

You Will Not be Forgotten...

Always Remembered...

(Source: http://joerose.hubpages.com/hub/I-am-Willing-Be-Cleansed )

Dr. Graham Stuart Staines was an Australian Christian Missionary who along with his two sons : Philip (age:10) and Timothy (Age: 6) were burnt to death by a gang while sleeping in his station wagon at Manohaspur village in Keonjhar District in Orissa, India on January 22, 1999. In 2003, the Bajrang Dal activist Dara Singh was convicted of leading the gang that murdered Staines and He is now serving life in prison.
Dr. Staines was working in Orissa among the tribal poor and focussing on the Leprosy patients since 1965. 
(Source: Wikipedia)

Its been 13 years and still this incident feels like it has happened recently. It is the brutality of this incident that can't be forgotten by anyone. However, the more memorable aspect of this incident are the statements of Ms. Gladys Staines. 
"I have forgiven the Killers and have no bitterness because forgiveness brings healing and our land needs healing from hatred and violence. Forgiveness and the consequences of the crime should not be mixed up" Ms. Staines said in a statement issued from her Mission House residence in Baripada Town of Orissa's Mayurbhanj District.
(Read: http://www.hindu.com/2003/09/23/stories/2003092305471200.htm)

The death of Dr. Staines and his two children, has paved way to the understanding of the concept of Forgiveness and the true essence of Christian beliefs. This grave incident has made this world lose three precious good souls because of the total disrespect for humanity, social service, love, peace and harmony. It has shown the way religious misconception can blind one's eyes towards the goodness of a human being.

And so, this incident has shown the intolerance many people in this world have towards religion and people who practice humanity religiously in a peaceful way. Where "humanity" comes, there can be NO room for violence. Dr. Staines was working towards the well being of Leprosy patients. I do not see any room for violent act or disharmonious intention in such a noble action. Yet, He was forced to see a dreadful end. Not just him, but also his two innocent sons. So, Who has practiced violence here? Dr. Staines or The accused? (Obviously the accused) 

The accused is now serving life in prison. Is that justice? In worldly eyes, there will be many suggestions for punishing this accused. Each suggestion will sound the same in the end as it will be in the aspect of "torture" and "pain" to be framed for the accused. 
Thus, The statement  and actions of Ms. Gladys Staines stands out.

Is forgiveness so powerful? The act of forgiveness practiced by Ms. Gladys Staines and her daughter Esther, has made the entire nation stand up in surprise. Because, We are not used to this. We are more familiar with --> "action and its equal and multiplied reaction"<-- concepts. Forgiveness is something we are not familiar with 'practically'. We all know the word and the meaning, but, the true practice of this meaning was highlighted in the aftermath of this grave incident only. 

It has made me think in depth the essence of forgiveness. It all starts with Jesus Christ's crucifixion. The statement of Christ... "Father, Forgive them... For they know not what they do..." has opened the flow of the river of the great power of forgiveness. Words are powerful. And, when words are presented in such a way that they immensely affect the emotions of a person for good, then a very simple thing happens--> It can't be forgotten...
Irrespective of a change occurring or not, such words and actions always stay in our heart.
The impact is felt when we really face such situations. When we are in a position where we are supposed to forgive someone and are unable to...That time, such incidents spark into our mind to guide us. 

Forgetting is not easy. Forgiving is not easy.  But it has been practiced by some people. These are the people who are really mentally strong and emotionally stable. I salute them. 

To live... in relationships

A child is born after 9 months of affectionate bearing of pain by its mother. Once born, the child starts working hard in its own way to face each day... And as the child grows, the "Working Hard" process becomes more and more mandatory and indispensable!

That's the life of every human!

A new born baby sees the beauty of its mother's smile and eyes everyday and wishes to see it more. As it wakes up every morning, It searches for its mother and any of those interesting affectionate relatives, who make the baby feel comfortable. So, that's the goal of a baby when it wakes up every morning!

As we grow, our demands, goals and expectations increase. These demands lead to the will to work hard. Sometimes we also choose not to work hard! Which thus depends on the passion we have to achieve something. Irrespective of a person being rich or poor, every human has his own goals and dreams that make that person live each day and hope for a future.

In this process of hard work and achievements, only thing that matters to people around us and the society is : How far a person's goals and the process of hard work affects them.

(Even a terrorist has goals in life! Killing people gives a terrorist a sense of satisfaction of fulfilling the religious demands set out by people who think like him!) <-- Such goals  affect the society! No one wants to die!

So what matters is, our goals and dreams should NOT be detrimental to the harmonious functioning of the society! <-- that's the expectation Society and law has. Human behavior is greatly influenced by the situation that the human faces that moment. However, action and behavior are different. Action is the final outcome of a behavior.
An intention to commit a crime is shown by behavior. But the completion of the intention is by action.

Thus, the actions of a criminal affect some people greatly and dearly; while the society is highly agonized too. A criminal's action always creates havoc and fear. Some people, though are not criminals, create havoc and fear! A husband who always shouts and screams at wife and children creates havoc and fear. Similarly a nagging wife creates havoc to Husband and children. A non-cooperating neighbor is a source of nuisance. An over-possessive doubting boyfriend or girlfriend is a trauma for the respective partner!
(Now who creates fear? Wild animals indeed! Do we keep them with us? NO! So think whether you want to be wild animal or a human!)
But, actions of a loving person is always welcomed. This creates an environment where unwritten laws are made to organize the society in a way that will ensure safety, security and equality.

To live... We need the will to be happy. Now comes the problem of defining Happiness! The general meaning of the word "Happiness" focuses on the fulfillment of the individual's wishes. However, Happiness will ensure the development of life in a progressive manner only if it is defined in the diameter of good will.

Keeping everyone happy is not happiness, but; keeping those happy who want to keep us happy will give the real happiness to heart. Recognizing a person who recognizes you well, will gain you a good friend; rather than choosing society more than a loving person.

To live... decide upon who you need in life! God is supreme. And God has also encouraged the concepts of friendship and relationships (e.g:- David and Jonathan). Thus, even if it is just one single person we have to trust, in life, be thankful! A single friend is better than fifty nice acquaintances!

To live... Decide upon where to give and where not to give! List out the names of people whom you must respect, and those whom u can ignore. List out the names of people who deserve a gift from you, and those who don't!. That way, it is easier to feel confident in deciding about scheduling your year with events.

To live... Be sure to value your family. We might not feel comfortable with everyone in our family. Sometimes, dad might just not understand our deep desires; or Mom might just reject the requests we keep before her; or sister might just refuse to accept your idea of life, love and comfort; or Brother might adamantly deny to believe in your capacity!
But, We must also understand that, whatever they do or say; in the end they speak out of unconditional love towards us! This unconditional love will not be guaranteed by a friend or guide, mentor or teacher; but... only by family! So, to live... instead of rejecting family  and blaming them or criticizing them; just patiently look for ways that can open their hearts to understand your desires. (Because, its that heart which also has so much love for you within it! )

To live... Marry only if you want to marry. Do not marry just because everyone around you are marrying, or family is forcing you to marry. Marriage is the bonding between a man and a woman to live life together by sharing each other's desires, fears, worries, concerns, happiness, love, fun, success and failure; and a bonding that cant be broken by any actions of a partner's past. It is of course difficult to find someone who fulfills all your wishes and expectations! 
Thus, In order to live... 
Don't marry if you do not prefer the person you are gonna marry. (people might say that as time passes, liking and love will also grow!) But decide to marry someone you do not prefer, ONLY if you have at least one point that you strongly like about that person. 
Once married to a person you don't know much about, bury all your expectations [ (expectations) ] that you had framed about your life partner. (All the "i want a girl who: will cook well, wash clothes, keep home clean, have joint account with me, always bubbly and fun, enthusiastic and lively, no friends in guys..etc etc"; OR "I want a guy who: earns a lot, has huge bank balance, looks handsome and stunning, works out well, will be patient when i do shopping, will not criticize me in front of others, will accept to live in a nuclear family, etc etc"). Instead, just start your life new with the marriage. It is a beginning of a new life! So first understand your life partner, and then start framing your expectations according to the capacity of that person. That way, your expectations will not be too much to ask for; and there wont be much disappointment.
When you marry someone whom you know for years, Just be mentally prepared for a drastic change in the personality, behavior and expectations of your life partner! Change is constant, and it greatly applies to this relationship! So be mentally prepared! 

There are many ways to live a balanced life! It once again depends on the individual.
But, before deciding upon it, lets first frame it in such a way that it does not affect others. A lonely life is better than a problematic life (which causes problems for others always)
Just get closer to God and thank Him for this very life and every single minute of your life! This very next minute can be a surprise (good one or bad too!) So every minute is a gift from God! SO, To live... Be thankful to GOD!

Woman! Wake up!

The Delhi Gang-rape Case has created a huge protest in India! 

    (Source: The Hindu Jan 17, 2013)

The 23 year old Physiotherapist who was brutally assaulted and raped by six men in a running bus is traumatic to even think about! The facts of this case are well known by now. The massive protest across India as well as in other countries has sparked the much needed confidence and support that the silent women needed.

What matters most is, Continuity!

Many of us would have been under weight reduction. Reducing 5 Kg is a nightmare for many people. However, once reduced, it makes us feel very happy. What next? Maintaining the weight is the next target and the most challenging. How long can the person maintain the weight? Or whether the unwanted fat and flabby structure will return?? 

Similarly, how long will this "will" to maintain the protest and pressure on the authorities to take action, on the legal system to give justice and on the silent people of India to wake up! 

Wake up? This is a simple word. "Wake Up!" We hear it everyday in different languages in the morning at home when mom tries to make us get up and face the new day of our life! But, are we really awake?

Rape is a crime. Yes. It is a heinous crime. It not only damages the trust women have on men, but also creates a hole in the system that is filled up by any nonsense character to save the accused and humiliate the victim.

One thing is clear. There are "wild heartless men" out there who care neither about themselves, nor about others. Such people are none less than wild animals. And where are wild animals kept? In Jungles! Away from Humans. So, can these men be kept away like wild animals? Unfortunately No! Because, they look humans, but they are not. It is thus difficult to find out which man is an animal and which one is a human. 

So, Who should wake up? 

Woman!

i will not say "women". It will generalize and loose the individualistic concentration that I wish to imply. 

Wake Up Woman!

Wake up to the reality of this world. Do not live in the world that this society has framed and inserted into your mind. Realize the true identity of yourself and respect the very fact that YOU are a human and YOU have the right to object and reject anyone who does not value your rights and anyone who refuses to show you humanity.

It is ok to speak out and criticize any man who is troublesome. Do not think that it is  wrong to criticize him, or that He will create problem for you. Understand that anyways, he is creating problem for you, so wot is the difference? At least if u speak out about his intentions (that you are aware of), there are 95% chances of getting rid of him either legally (when he further creates problem)  or personally (when he gets cautioned and moves out of your way forever).

Do not think of society too much! because, This same society was silent when a man was trying to grope you in bus. This very society was criticizing you when it saw you talking with a guy friend in a mall. This same society, even if it supports you, will forget you and your cause after some months or years.

SO, who is left with you? YOU! You woman! Just YOU!

And, guess what? YOU are more than enough for yourself. Seriously! Because there are many things you can do to help yourself and many women of this country. 

There are actions that are to be taken. And, they must be taken. These actions should be taken not just by YOU, but by EVERY WOMAN of this country.

Firstly, Refuse to give any privilege to any guy friends of getting close to you anywhere. Refuse to talk on phone, in college, on street, or at home. Even if the he is a good decent man, just stop talking till there is a real change in the amount of crimes committed against women. Boycott all guys! (If in office, your boss is a man, then make it as limited as possible, to treat that boss and male colleague as just another human working in your office. Don't give them the privilege of getting close to you or becoming your best friend. Let all men work hard to earn the respect of women again. If they are really good and decent (as you think). Let the good and decent men join hands to thrash the indecent men and make them right. When they do that, then, the "good and decent" men are worth talking to.

Secondly, Refuse to get married. Just say NO to marriage. (Why?) So many criminals are married too. They even have children! (Lol) So, How would you know whether a man is really the good man you see from outside? let every young man in this country stay unmarried because of the decision of every woman of this country. Show them that they are not fit to be married. (Woman! You don't have to marry in a place where so many crimes are committed. Just think! When your parents see a boy for you, they find out every detail about that boy. They assure you that the boy does not drink, does not smoke, earns well, has a home, etc etc. They will never get a guy for you where criminals live. SO, WHY MARRY A BOY FROM A COUNTRY WHERE SO MANY MEN ARE CRIMINALS WHO ARE COMMITTING CRIMES AGAINST WOMEN AND CHILDREN? Don't they call India as their "home" country?)

Thirdly, Get in touch with all your girl friends. And support them in their problems. I know you all are doing this. But when you follow the first two suggestions I gave you, this action becomes more mandatory. Financially, mentally and emotionally every woman who needs support, get together and help each other out. We have the capacity to work, the right education, and the will power to live life boldly. Do not get discouraged by the society's piercing sentences like "these women will go no where", some even go to the extent of saying "They are not women"! Well, This is the problem! We have been brainwashed by the society in such a way that criminals have a cake walk after committing a crime on us. Let the society get some humanity in its mind, then we can retain ours. Let men learn to grow up enough to respect humans (leave alone women), Then we can respect society's norms. Let them think "they are not women"; who cares! Because men are not being men, society is not being society! 

Fourthly, Beware of those women who encourage the downfall of women rights. The term "Women Rights" has always been under the scanner. Some people think it is unnecessary while many feel it is over-expectation on the part of women. Remember that there are such women who do not understand the problems of women and are themselves problem creators for other women.  A mother-in-law who does not support the success of her daughter-in-law or tortures her daughter-in-law for money or possessiveness towards her son, A mother who does not encourage her daughter to divorce her husband who violently beats her at home, and, all those women who are silently sitting in a bus when another helpless woman is being groped by a man. In fact there are many such women who believe that "a woman who patiently undergoes all the torture her husband gives her, or who is silent and forgiving is a 'good girl' ". Woman! Beware of such ladies. They are brainwashing every woman to be submissive and tolerate crimes.

I am not a feminist. But, what I have written here might sound like I am one. However, think deeply about the forces that pushed me to go to this extent of suggesting. As the protesters have rightly said: "Enough is enough!"